Google is stronger than God! Will Google acquire God?

Here is the proof that the Google is better/stronger/more powerful than God and comments on Google acquiring God.

God Vs. Google:

God is omnipresent.* 1 Google is omnipresent. 1
God is omniscient.* 1 Google is omniscient. 1
God is omnipotent.* 1 Google is omnipotent. 1
God embodies
simplicity, timelessness, immutability, and impassibility.
*
.25 Google embodies simplicity, timelessness,
immutability, and impassibility.
.5
God is infinite. 1 Google is infinite. .5
God is generally considered benevolent. 1 Google is generally considered benevolent. 1
God lets you
(sometimes commands you) to kill other people in its name.
-10 You can find websites to hack using Google
and deface them, but no violence is tolerated.
1
God guides you when you don’t know what to
do.
1 Google guides you when you don’t know what
to do.
1
An intermediary, like a church, a temple, a
priest, a guru is helpful in reaching God.
0 An intermediary, like AT&T, Verizon,
Comcast, are helpful in reaching Google.
0
God made everything in
6 days and then rested.
0 Google has been working non-stop for many
years.
0.5
God creates a lot of new products in beta
and keeps them in beta for a long time.
0 Google creates a lot of products in beta and
keeps them in beta for a long time.
0
God uses Digg like voting to decide what new
functionality to add to the products (
some people call this process
evolution, but it has clearly been copied from the Digg concept. Each
offspring equals one vote.)
1 Google uses some
internal secret methods to release new products and decide what
functionality/features to add and when.
0
God has an affiliate program where you get
paid if bring more people to join (but the payment is in some dubious,
after life currency.)
0.5 You get paid in real money if you bring more
people to Google.
0.5
God is random at times. 0.5 Google is random at times. 0.5
If you ever cross him/her, God is the
prosecutor, the judge, the jury and the executioner.
-1 If you ever cross her, Google is the
prosecutor, the judge, the jury and the executioner.
-1
If you send a prayer message to God, he doesn’t
always listen to it. Most of the times your prayers
are ignored.
-1 If you send a message to Google, Google
doesn’t always listen or read your messages. Most of the time the
requests are ignored.
-1
It is hard to find
God. He doesn’t even own God.com or God.net or God.org.+
0 Easy to find Google. Try Google in any
country. Also Google.org offers even more love to its subjects by doing
philanthropic work.
0.5
If you pray to God, he
never affirmatively acknowledges your prayers.
0 Google always sends an (automated)
acknowledgment of your prayers/requests. Even though the outcome is the
same as praying to God.
0.25
God is pro-clothing.
Request for information about humans in their natural state is frowned
upon.
-0.5 Google is clothing-neutral. Google will
provide all the information you need about human activities regardless
of how much clothing is required.
0.5
God can not help you
with your computer problems.
0 Google will help you solve your computer
problems
0.5
God will not tell you
which way to turn when you are lost on the road.
0 Google will always steer you right. 1
God will not relay a
message from you to another person.
0 Google will reliably deliver a message from
you to another person.
1
God will not tell you
what your friends and enemies are doing.
0 Google will tell you a lot about your
friends and your enemies.
.5
Even though God knows,
he will never tell you who is thinking of you and who is visiting your
house.
0 Google will try to tell you who is thinking
of you and who is visiting your website.
.5
God will not find any phone numbers for you. 0 Google tries to find the

phone numbers for you
(800-Goog-411)
.25
Life without God is hell. 1 Life without Google is hell. 1

* From Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.

+God.com and God.net are fan sites and God.org is owned by a cybersquatter.

Since Google is ahead in so many categories, I don’t even need to count the points. Google is stronger than God!

Some columnists have (wrongly) suggested that Google is God. There is no God at Google. (http://god.google.com leads to a server not found error.)

There are rumors that Google is in talks with high ranking officials at Vatican, Jerusalem and Mecca to possibly acquire God. In recent job posting, Google looked for candidates with extensive religious background, which could be a hint.

Since “God” has G as the first letter in its name, some have argued that Google might have already acquired God, and it is already a done deal. Analysts disagree whether Google will release an improved God (God 2.0) or an open source God (renamed as gOD).

google is god 2.0

You can also visit The Church of Google, where they believe that Google IS God and suggest taking a pledge Do You Accept Google As Your Default Search Engine?. I disagree with their conclusion and refuse to take that pledge.

Please visit next week (or subscribe to the RSS feed) for an article on Why I am scared of Google, and what am I doing about it.

Do you have additional reasons to prove/disprove the hypotheses? Does God talk to you sometime? Do you have any inside information? Pl. leave a comment.

Happy Thanksgiving, May God Google be with you!


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Microsoft and Facebook: Mark Zukerberg gets his way

Microsoft buys stake in facebook It is confirmed, Microsoft is in, Google is out. As we mentioned yesterday, Microsoft has announced that it is investing $240 million in Facebook, at a valuation of $15 billion!

This puts the current Microsoft stake in Facebook at 1.6% which is much less than the 5% stake that Microsoft was initially considering. We had written on September 24th, that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was “pushing for a whopping 15 billion valuation” for the Facebook site. Looks like this round has gone to Mark!

So Mark Zukerberg got his $15 billion valuation for Facebook, but it is not clear if Microsoft reduced the amount that they had planned to invest in the company or whether the 15% share that they had planned on acquiring was based on a lower valuation of $1.6 B. If that were the case, then indeed, Facebook got a a very good deal.

There has been much said about Mark “Zuke” Zukerberg’s spurning of lucrative offers for Facebook, but certainly a lot of credit has to be given for the fact that he has managed to grow the company into the 5th largest Internet presence, right behind the likes of Google, Ebay, Yahoo and Amazon.

Microsoft will begin serving targeted ads to Facebook’s 20 million active users (their user base has been growing by 3% a month). While Google has been spurned by Facebook, they will probably not be sitting still for long. They already have an advertising network deal signed with MySpaces’ parent company Fox Interactive Media, to serve ads to the 100 million MySpace members. One wonders if there is are any ownership discussions in the offing….

Technorati Tags: Microsoft, Google, Facebook, Myspace, ad network, social network


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Layoffs at AOL - Advertising gold rush continues

Some bad news at AOL - they are laying off 2000 of its 10,000 employees. CEO Randy Falco sent out a letter this morning, explaining the reasons behind the cutback. Kara Swisher at All Things Digital, published the layoff letter.

Dear AOL colleague,

Just over a year ago, AOL embarked on an incredibly complex and significant transformation as we fundamentally shifted our business model from a subscription-based ISP to an advertising-supported Web company.

We aggressively expanded our advertising capabilities, building on the strength of Advertising.com and our premium ad sales force.

Clearly, the big gold rush for the major online companies are the ad dollars, and shoring up the advertising networks has become priority #1. Google has a clear lead in the ad race with 56% of all searches in the US, followed by Yahoo at 23%, and Microsoft with 11%. AOL is bringing up the rear with 5%.

Google, acquired DoubleClick earlier this year, for a resounding $1.3 billion. Google is also making definite forays into the mobile advertising market.

Microsoft bought aQuantive, a digital marketing company for $6 billion, making aQuantive the largest acquisition for Microsoft. AQuantive is the parent of Razorfish, the marketing company that was the darling of the last boom, along with DRIVEpm and Atlas.

On the heels of Google’s acquisition of DoubleClick, Yahoo acquired Right media for $680 million.

AOL acquired a controlling stake in the German ad company, ADTECH AG.

From the AOL layoff letter:

We aggressively expanded our advertising capabilities, building on the strength of Advertising.com and our premium ad sales force. We acquired three leading-edge advertising companies–ADTECH, Third Screen Media and TACODA–and formed Platform-A. AOL now has one of the largest and most sophisticated ad networks in the world, and we’re well positioned to compete where the ad market is heading.

AOL’s current strategy will be geared towards “three core areas–Platform-A, Publishing and Access” according to CEO Randy Falco. Platform-A will enable AOL to serve ads over their own as well as third party sites. Content (publishing) sites provide the basis for the ad network, which the Access platform (AOL’s traditional and highly profitable ISP business) will provide the cash to build the other businesses.

In spite of the impending layoffs, some credit should go to AOL for building, and articulating a clear vision of where it sees itself in the future.


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Google and Jaiku - the puzzle is getter clearer

jaiku logoGoogle has acquired the mobile microblogging service Jaiku for an undisclosed sum, fueling some speculation on Google’s future plans for forays into the social networking space, particularly via mobile devices.

For right now, existing users of Jaiku will carry on as usual. New users will be able to join in future, through an invitation, according to the official Google Blog.

There is further speculation that the Jaiku mobile service will be bundled in with the yet to materialize but highly hyped Google G-phone.

jaiku mobileTwitter, Jaiku, Pownce and other mobile chat applications give people one more way to communicate. The advantage to these applications is that the communications can be (and have to be) brief, so people do not feel they have to write long volumes, or stand on literary ceremony, such when writing emails - or have the need to make idle chit chat when calling acquaintances on the phone. It conveys “thinking of you” while providing a “what’s news” highlight in the briefest way possible.

Twitter is a very simple application geared at providing “What I am doing” updates - rather like the status updates on Facebook. People who travel frequently tend to embed Twitter into their web pages or blogs, to send quick bulletins on what they are up to. However, it is hard to say anything really meaningful within 140 characters.

jaikuJaiku, the more complicated cousin of Twitter, allows users to create an “activity stream” where they post Jaikus (a variation of the word haiku which means a short poem), as well as add pictures and contacts lists. The brain child of Jyri Engeström and Petteri Koponen from Finland, Jaiku was founded in February, 2006 and launched in July of that year. This is indeed a quick turn around for selling a start up that is only a year and a half old!

Google’s acquisition of Jaiku also came hot on the heels the acquisition of Zingku, the mobile social networking networking service, along with Google’s much publicized bid on wireless spectrum in the US and UK.

The interesting matter to speculate on is what does Google plan to do with Jaiku in the future? If Google were to set up their own social network, they would definitely want a quick chat or status update application, like the other social networks. One that is mobile ready and can exchange multimedia via mobile and other platforms, would definitely be a big asset.

And if the Gphone materializes, Google would definitely have the social-mobile market well covered. With Jaiku, yet another piece seems to have dropped into the puzzle!


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